OMFG NEW HEROES CLIPS!!!!1
Apparently, NBC has provided CBR with six new clips from its upcoming 2-hour long series premier of Heroes season 3. For those of you who want to watch them, it’s probably old news- the whole first hour of it was premiered at SD Comic Con, and a rundown of that episode appeared on blogs everywhere, so you probably know all about it. Still, it’s hot to watch some of these scenes (link here)- especially the ones with badass Claire. She is so ridiculously hot. I would pay a year’s salary just to watch her have sex with her uncle. When is THAT sex tape going to leak to the interwebs!?!?!?!?!?!?
Activision decides to flood us with MORE crap
Visible Black Hole Birth from Earth… Predicts Future
My brother, Jsizz, brought this to my attention over a fat bowl last night: apparently, six months ago, there was a black hole birth with a gamma blast that was VISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE FROM EARTH FOR AT LEAST 40 SECONDS. Of course, no one saw it. It was picked up by some random satellite that we have orbiting earth, watching a large patch of nothing. If they want to do that, they should just point these satellites at my soul. Anyway, this explosion took 7.4 billion years to reach our planet… ridiculous. The following conversation occured:
Emsizz: So this gamma burst came from a black hole forming?Jsizz: Yes.Emsizz: This is a warning… it’s the cosmos’ way of telling us not to turn on the LHC!Jsizz: Shut the fuck up… the LHC isn’t going to destroy the earth. DO YOU KNOW HOW SMALL THE BLACK HOLE THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE IS?Emsizz: It doesn’t matter… we have no idea WHAT the fuck is gonna happen. It’s something we’ve never done before.Jsizz: You are completely stoned. That thing is going to make black holes smaller than a quark, if it makes them at all.Emsizz: Well, when we saw that gamma burst six months ago, A BLACK HOLE WAS FORMING. And we are trying to do that NOW. How do we know the formation of a microscopic black hole won’t release that kind of energy?Jsizz: So what you’re saying is, 7.4 billion years ago, some retards were doing the same exact thing we are trying to do right now with the LHC?Emsizz: Maybe. Who knows. Eh… it doesn’t matter anyway. Everyone’s gonna die one way or another, and it would be awesome to go in a black hole. You know what the best part about that scenario is?Jsizz: What?Emsizz: No one would be around to bitch about it.Jsizz: True.Emsizz: What is the LHC supposed to do again?Jsizz: It’s trying to find the Higgs boson, which is a particle that supposedly gives things its mass.Emsizz: That doesn’t seem like a good idea.Jsizz: No it doesn’t. We don’t know what we’re fucking with.
Hubble finds… something in space
Apparently, in the Astrophysical Journal last week, scientists discovered in the middle of nowhere in space… SOMETHING… and they have no idea what the hell it is. ”We suggest the transient may be one of a new class,” is what the paper said, which means they really don’t have a clue what the fuck they are looking at. The weird thing is, after watching this object for 100 days, the object disappeared. It wasn’t a planet, sun, supernova, or Death Star. This grand, floating whatever is between 130 light years and 11 billion light years away. Maybe it’ll come swallow our galaxy before Google and Apple form together to become Skynet. We can only hope…
Apparently, a scientist at the LHC declared that the object is similar to the flash that an Imperial Star Destroyer does when reaching Warp 10.
Okay, THANKS! That just completely debunked any legitimacy that these guys had. I thought all scientists were nerds. ANY nerd knows that Imperial Star Destroyers don’t EVER reach Warp 10. They reach lightspeed. Thanks a lot, noob. GG!
Alison Haislip on The Game Show on TheStream.tv
The greatest thing to happen to the internet, New Jersey, G4TV, and nerds everywhere, Alison Haislip, appeared on The Game Show on thestream.tv tonight. Not only is this awesome because Alison is my soul mate (funny, because I have no soul), but it was Nikole’s 21st birthday and the WHOLE GANG did a power hour LIVE. They also talk about/show The Force Unleashed and discuss Star Wars games of the past. Oh, and one more thing- they name drop ScrunchyMcFarts like, four times. You can catch the shitfaced goodness archived here.
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COD4 Q&A with ScrunchyMcFarts
This is a new recurring segment called “COD4 Q&A with ScrunchyMcFarts”. ScrunchyMcFarts is his XBox Live gamertag. On to the questions!
Q: OMFG! HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT COD4 SCRUNCHY?
A: I’m so good because I’m not you. Plz die kthx.
Q: How do you get so many headshots?
A: Uhhhhh… aim for the head and lose your extra chromosome. KTHX!>1
Q: Why do you randomly throw grenades and use x3 frag like a noob?
A: I’m a noob for killing you with randomly thrown grenades? You’re the noob for dying to randomly thrown grenades. Shut the fuck up. Next question.
Q: What the hell gun do you use? Its gotta be somethin nasty.
A: M16, best gun in the game and if you think otherwise you are gay.
Okay, thanks for reading! Send your questions for ScrunchyMcFarts to ubernerdery@gmail.com.
Getting shitty gets an upgrade patch
Possibly the greatest invention ever created- a USB hard drive/bottle opener combo. The drive is usable on Windows 2000, XP, Vista, Mac OS X, and Linux from Kernel 2.6.x, and is available in 1, 2, 4, 8, or 16 GB. Nice. Now I can impress all my drunken friends with my vast collection of kiddie porn and beastiality videos!
New XBox Experience screenshot
This is what your new Gamercard is going to look like in the “New XBox Experience” dashboard that’s coming out pretty soon. I guess XBox has taken a page from the Wii book when it comes to this little duder chillin’ out by your gamerpoints. Now I can finally make myself look like a chick on XBL and have yet ANOTHER digital image to masturbate to.
Guitar Hero: World Tour drops the ball
Even though it’s gonna be good times, I’m still pissed at Activision for being way behind with their GH:WT game, content-wise and release-date-wise. Get on the ball, people! Anyway, the FULL track list was just announced, as well as some of the DLC:
- 311- “Beautiful Disaster”
- 30 Seconds To Mars- “The Kill”
- Airbourne- “Too Much Too Young”
- The Allman Brothers Band- “Ramblin’ Man”
- Anouk- “Good God”
- The Answer- “Never Too Late”
- At The Drive-In- “One Armed Scissor”
- Beastie Boys- “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”
- Beatsteaks- “Hail to the Freaks”
- Billy Idol- “Rebel Yell”
- Black Label Society- “Stillborn”
- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- “Weapon of Choice”
- blink-182- “Dammit”
- Blondie- “One Way or Another”
- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band- “Hollywood Nights”
- Bon Jovi- “Livin’ On A Prayer”
- Bullet For My Valentine- “Scream Aim Fire”
- Coldplay- “Shiver”
- Creedence Clearwater Revival- “Up Around The Bend”
- The Cult- “Love Removal Machine”
- Dinosaur Jr.- “Feel The Pain”
- The Doors- “Love Me Two Times”
- Dream Theater- “Pull Me Under”
- The Eagles- “Hotel California”
- The Enemy- “Aggro”
- Filter- “Hey Man, Nice Shot”
- Fleetwood Mac- “Go Your Own Way”
- Foo Fighters- “Everlong”
- The Guess Who- “American Woman”
- Hush Puppies- “You’re Gonna Say Yeah!”
- Interpol- “Obstacle 1″
- Jane’s Addiction- “Mountain Song”
- Jimi Hendrix- “Purple Haze (Live)”
- Jimi Hendrix- “The Wind Cries Mary”
- Jimmy Eat World- “The Middle”
- Joe Satriani- “Satch Boogie”
- Kent- “Vinternoll2″
- Korn- “Freak On A Leash”
- Lacuna Coil- “Our Truth”
- Lenny Kravitz- “Are You Gonna Go My Way”
- Linkin Park- “What I’ve Done”
- The Living End- “Prisoner of Society”
- Los Lobos- “La Bamba”
- Lost Prophets- “Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)”
- Lynyrd Skynyrd- “Sweet Home Alabama”
- Mars Volta- “L’Via L’Viaquez”
- MC5’s Wayne Kramer “Kick Out The Jams”
- Metallica- “Trapped Under Ice”
- Michael Jackson- “Beat It”
- Modest Mouse- “Float On”
- Motorhead- “Overkill”
- Muse- “Assassin
- Negramaro- “Nuvole e Lenzuola”
- Nirvana- “About A Girl (Unplugged)
- No Doubt- “Spiderwebs”
- NOFX- “Soul Doubt”
- Oasis- “Some Might Say”
- Ozzy Osbourne- “Crazy Train”
- Ozzy Osbourne- “Mr. Crowley
- Paramore- “Misery Business”
- Pat Benetar- “Heartbreaker”
- R.E.M.- “The One I Love”
- Radio Futura- “Escuela De Calor”
- Rise Against- “Re-Education Through Labor”
- Sex Pistols- “Pretty Vacant”
- Silversun Pickups- “Lazy Eye”
- Smashing Pumpkins- “Today”
- Steely Dan- “Do It Again”
- Steve Miller Band- “The Joker”
- Sting- “Demolition Man (Live)”
- The Stone Roses- “Love Spreads”
- Stuck In The Sound- “Toy Boy”
- Sublime- “Santeria”
- Survivor- “Eye of the Tiger”
- System of a Down- “B.Y.O.B.”
- Ted Nugent- “Stranglehold”
- Ted Nugent’s Original Guitar Duel Recording
- Tokio Hotel- “Monsoon”
- Tool- “Parabola”
- Tool- “Schism”
- Tool- “Vicarious”
- Trust- “Antisocial”
- Van Halen- “Hot For Teacher”
- Willie Nelson- “On The Road Again”
- Wings- “Band on the Run”
- Zakk Wylde’s Original Guitar Duel Recording
- That Was Just Your Life
- The End of the Line
- Broken, Beat & Scarred
- The Day That Never Comes
- All Nightmare Long
- Cyanide
- The Unforgiven III
- The Judas Kiss
- My Apocalypse
- Suicide & Redemption J.H.
- Suicide & Redemption K.H.
- 1979
- The Everlasting Gaze
- G.L.O.W.
R.E.M. Track Pack
- Horse To Water
- Man-Sized Wreath
- Supernatural Superserious
Jimi Hendrix Track Pack (tracks TBA)